14/11/24 I was happy, I knew that
13/11/24 I wanted to take a walk and think of the city whose only remaining beauty is that you were in it
12/11/24 No answer more simple than your silence
11/11/24 Each night I bury my love around you, you're linked to my innocence
10/11/24 I know you supported me for a long time... Somehow, I'm not impressed
09/11/24 I am not perfect in my way of putting things because I lack the divine simplicity of being only what I appear to be
08/11/24 You know you do, you kill me well, you like it too, and I can tell
08/11/24 If you realise that all things change, there's nothing you will try to hold on to
06/11/24 When you find me let the blood drive and come alive within me
02/11/24 27 hours of disarray
30/10/24 Maybe they grew bold enough one day to post their poems on websites set aside for gloomy, unsophisticated artists and admirers of incompetent, cathartic art. Maybe they grew confident enough to stop pretending their scribbles were poetry instead of suicidal scrawls they might have chickened out and torn in shreds were not the internet a wildly more rewarding trash can. Maybe someone loved them once or twice, or said they did, which they no more believed than actors buy the love of fans that only know them when their feelings are impersonations. So, love got lost, and now that they're so doomed, or wish they were, they know that mutual addiction will have to do, and they're trying to addict someone right now
26/10/24 Why do you think UFOs never land? Why don't ghosts just say hello?
25/10/24 She didn't care how sexily I described the idea of him dead. She just listened and nodded like I was giving her directions to the next town
24/10/24 It was better to live a week with someone who loved me for what I was, and then years of loneliness
23/10/24 It was like I’d found myself, and I was someone who had never had the things I really wanted, plainly never would, and whom no one would fully comprehend
23/10/24 I suppose at one time in my life I might have had any number of stories, but now there is no other. This is the only story I will ever be able to tell
22/10/24 There was a horrible, erratic thumping in my chest, as if a large bird was trapped inside my ribcage and beating itself to death.
22/10/24 Don't stop believing in me. It was just a bad day
21/10/24 There's something that's invisible, there's some things you can't hide. Trying to detect you when I'm sleeping, in a wave you say goodbye
19/10/24 I worship the flowing lava and whatever else a billion years ago that eventually formed the ground he walks on
19/10/24 You're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool
13/10/24 Witnessing another’s slow drip of miseries, and long bouts of boredom, and occasional triumphs. Feeling honored by the privilege of getting to be present for another person’s most dismal moments, and knowing that you could be dismal around him in return
09/10/24 There's nothing wrong with the love of beauty. But beauty, unless she is wed to something more meaningful, is always superficial
05/10/24 I feel my existence is tainted in some subtle but essential way
28/09/24 So now I know that I have this little piece of him actually in me. Physically in me, and it makes me feel completely different, I don't know, sort of special or something
27/09/24 Emotional. Out of my mind grateful. Anything goes. I love you, I love you, I love you
25/09/24 I looked at his old photos then, from his childhood or when he was somewhere else, and I felt that same sensation I often did when I thought, really thought of him and everything that his life has been: a sadness, I could call it, but it's not a pitying sadness; it's larger, it feels like I'm grieving something from all the way back when, one that encompasses everything and all these poor striving people, everything he is, billions of people he doesn't know, how people see him, everybody living their lives unaware of it, a sadness that mingled with awe at how hard we're trying to live, even when our days are still so difficult, when our circumstances are just wretched. Life is just so sad, I think in these moments. It's so sad, but he has to do it.
24/09/24 He was a living reverie for me: the mere sight of him sparked an almost infinite range of fantasy, from Greek to gothic, from vulgar to divine
22/09/24 The inescapable truth about our lives today is that at any given moment each and every one of us could become a broken and confused animal scratching at the surface of the earth for some small sigh of life
20/09/24 I know why everyone in a false world would think a boy who spent his whole life doing nothing is God. I just don’t know how to give it decent subtitles yet
17/09/24 Does that convey my trauma? Shall I boringly compare myself to the biblical Egyptian spearmen tripping over themselves in the gushy mud and piles of flopping fish between the Red Sea’s reconvening halves?
10/09/24 She was my catatonic sex toy, love-joy diver
03/09/24 And every time, every time I feel wind touch my fingertips, she makes me smile
31/08/24 Through the lack of attaching myself to words my thoughts remain as nebulous most of the time. They sketch vague, pleasant shapes and then get swallowed up; I forget them almost immediately
29/08/24 You'd need to stop the world just to stop the feeling
14/08/24 There are periods where I paint and periods where I don't. I know deep down that I'm an artist , it's just a matter of time until it comes back, and it'll be good like it has always been
12/08/24 It is is better to know one book intimately than a hundred superficially
08/08/24 Love binds, and it binds forever. Good binds while evil unravels. Seperation is another word for evil, it is also another word for deceit
01/08/24 People, you must love people, men are admirable, I want to vomit--and suddenly, there it is: the nausea
24/07/24 I've got your voice repeating endlessly
23/07/24 Beholden!
22/07/24 I feel the weight of the world, and it’s just a moment of nausea
21/07/24 Roomiest of churches
19/07/24 Our hedonistic nirvana
17/07/24 He was soon believing that all his sorrows would soon be finally at an end
17/07/24 Nothing ever happens
15/07/24 Your wives will dance in crowns of fire
14/07/24 She kept her face to the floor, moving in her personal oblivion, her sunflower eyes fixed on the predicament of her life we would never understand
13/07/24 Glass on the pavement under my shoe, without you is all my life amounts to
12/07/24 Love spot
09/07/24 Animus copywrite
07/07/24 They just want to steal us all, and take us all apart
06/07/24 Head of steam
04/07/24 Gainsboro, awesome
03/07/24 And when you're in trouble you desire nothing at all
02/07/24 The black of the sky at night is ashes, the moon a bubbling drop of water
02/07/24 My face was a marble statue, your face was an anime waifu
01/07/24 Dark wizard Jew boy
01/07/24 FBI, CIA, KGB, CNN
30/06/24 Rodent physiognomy
27/06/24 Her accent is almost East Coast when we begin
26/06/24 12 O'clock caller
22/06/24 Sparks from the train of God's thought
20/06/24 The stars are entirely in the eyes of those who look at the sky
20/06/24 Beaver falls excepted
19/06/24 It's just the things you do, you make it true